LOOSEN UP

 When I was in high school, the style was for boys to wear tight pants. So of course I wore loose pants. One day during a break at school, another guy and I played Stretch. This is where two guys face each other, each with his feet together, and take turns throwing a knife to one side, sticking it in the ground. (Yes, in those days we could have pocket knives in school.) Each time one would successfully stick the knife in the ground, his opponent would have to stretch out his leg and touch the knife with his foot, then, staying it that position, pick up the knife and throw and stick it for the other guy to try to reach. The first player to be unable to do the splits far enough to reach the knife loses. Well, I was doing all right. Finally I stuck the knife pretty far out in the ground, and when my stylish opponent tried to reach it, his tight pants split open all the way between his legs with an audible ripping sound, and he immediately had to leave school and go home to change. I laughed so hard that he later beat me up.

I always hated suits. They squeeze at odd places, and, thick-necked Norwegian that I am, my collar was inevitably too tight. I felt like my whole head was turning red, and it was so difficult getting comfortable that I just couldn’t be myself. Once I had the notion of becoming an embalmer for a local mortuary. I thought that working with dead bodies in a basement would be easy-going, peaceful and quiet work, without being bothered. I did well in an interview, and was about to begin an apprenticeship, but when finding out that I’d also be required at times to deal with living people and so wear a suit, I gave it up.

In the Army, they made us wear elastic bands around our upper ankles to tuck our fatigue pants into. It bothered my legs a lot, so I got away with putting the bands around the very top of my boots instead. The fatigue pants they issued us were pretty baggy, and so most guys managed after basic training to acquire more form-fitting fatigues. Not me; I wouldn’t spend a cent on uniforms, so wore my “clown suit” for three years.

When my growing family and I lived full-time in a nudist camp, I was surprised that I could go about in the Northwest winters wearing nothing but a jacket and flip-flops, and feel fine. Although my shoulders and neck and back were sensitive to the cold, the lower half of my body was fine with it, even my feet.

For 24 years in the Postal Service I wore blue postal socks that were tight, supposedly to give support, and my feet with my shoes off were always cold. I would plead with the uniform guy to give me the loosest, stretchiest socks he carried, but no matter what, they were always tight.

My brother Paul would suffer terribly with frequent migraines, and eventually he took the advice of a doctor who suggested that they might have something to do with the tight belt around Paul’s waist. Paul has worn overalls ever since. He still has headaches, but relieving his waist helped.

Since I retired fifteen years ago, I’ve switched to very stretchy, loose, “work socks” and sandals (adjustable with Velcro straps). I wear shoes very seldom. And cold feet are now rare.

I read the 20-volume set of Grolier’s excellent 1941 edition of the Book of Knowledge straight through from cover to cover, and on page 3013 it’s explained simply and well:

“WHY IS TIGHT CLOTHING BAD FOR US?

"All our clothing, from head to feet, should be worn loose. Anything tight on the trunk of the body interferes with the movements of deep, easy breathing, and injures our health. Tight clothing is bad also because it interferes with the proper circulation of the blood through the body. Many foolish people suffer from cold feet because they wear shoes so tight that blood is unable to get into them. The proper way to keep warm is by our blood, not by cotton or leather; and the way to help the blood to do its work is to give it room to flow instead of tightening the veins and stopping the circulation."

So . . . loosen up.

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