YOU'RE NOT CHRISTIAN, ARE YOU?

        My son Andrew and I were on our way up to Church today, and he wanted to stop at the Shell station along the way on Highway 13 for coffee, and so we did.  I waited there in the car.

       When he came out with his coffee and was about to get into the car, Andrew turned to the fellow sitting in his car a few yards away with his door open, and said, "You're not Christian, are you?"

       The man showed no reaction at all, just sat there, so Andrew mumbled, "I guess not," and got into the car.  I was thinking, 'Man, Andy's got into some hardcore witnessing today."

       Then it hit him what he said, and he laughed and explained that someone with the first name Christian had left his credit card on the counter in the store, so Andrew checked, asking the man parked outside near us.

       We couldn't stop laughing, the man pondering in his mind: 'What makes it look like I'm not a Christian?'

 

 

 

 

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HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DOG

 

       In 1957, when I was 8, my dog Lassie was very trained, and a protector.  Once in Blaine WA, when I was being threatened by a gang of boys, suddenly from behind Lassie came charging by me and leapt with a loud growl right into the belly of the leading bully, knocking him back and scaring him.  I grabbed my bike and took off, hollering "C'mon, Lassie!" and they let us go.

       Another time, also in Blaine, I went to visit a friend of mine and told Lassie to stay on the front porch.  After playing in the house, not remembering Lassie, I left through the back door and walked home.  The next day, my family and I missed Lassie, wondering where she was, and it dawned on me.  I walked to my friends house, and when two blocks away I saw Lassie still lying on the front porch.  I called to her.  I've never seen a dog run that fast!

 

       In 1957, Friskies came out with a promotional 33 1/3 rpm record, "How to Train Your Dog," narrated by Mike Nuzzola.  I loved this record.  It's so understandable and simple, even for an 8-year-old.  You can listen to it by clicking on its title here.

 

 HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DOG

 

 

 

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RETURNING KINDNESS FOR INSULT

       It was in the Hollister MO postal annex, between casing mail, that there were a few of us mail carriers talking.  I don't remember what we were discussing, but at one point I defended the pope.  One carrier, Dan, reponded, "You're a fuckin' sheep."

       I didn't say anything, and the group soon disbanded and we went back to work.  A bit later I went back to Dan's case and said, kindly, "You know, I kind of took offense at you calling me a fuckin' sheep."

       Dan was quieter and friendly.  I don't remember what he said, or if he outright apologized, but I felt better when I returned to my case.

       Some months later, riding home from work on my motorcycle, a car turned in front of me.  I survived but was off work for four months, and during that time Dan was the only one of my co-workers who came to visit me and see how I was doing.

 

 

 

 

 

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CARDS THAT CAN GUESS NUMBERS

 From Grolier's 1941 edition of the The Book of Knowledge:

        If we take six visiting cards, and copy on them the six sets of figures that are printed below - one set on each card - we shall be able, with the six cards that we have made, to tell any number that a friend may have thought of.

       We ask the friend to think of a number, and then we show our six cards, desiring that he will point out on which of these cards the number thought of appears.  In a moment we tell him the number, much to his astonishment. 

       The explanation is very simple.  We merely add up the figures that appear on the top right-hand corners of the cards upon which his number appears, and the total that results is the number thought of.  Thus, suppose that our friend thought of the number 47.  It is on cards A, B, C, D and F.  The figures in the top right-hand corners of these are 32, 1, 4, 8 and 2, which, added together, make 47 - the number thought of.  We can guess people's ages in this way, and can get a great deal of fun from so simple a set of figure cards.

       Some people know of figure cards by which a number can be guessed, but these are usually arranged so that the top left-hand figures have to be added to give the solution, whereas here the right-hand numbers must be added.  If any of our friends have seen figure-guessing cards before, they will at once say that they can do the thought-reading as skillfully as ourselves.  We let them try, and by adding up the left-hand figures they find that they are wrong every time.

 

 

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AN AUTOMATIC CODER

 From the 1941 edition of Grolier's THE BOOK OF KNOWLEDGE.  I've read all volumes cover-to-cover and really enjoyed them.

 AN AUTOMATIC CODER

       

       Suppose you received the following message on a postcard:  "ERNQGUROHGGREEHZPNEGBBA." 

  You would be greatly puzzled.  You would wonder who could possibly be writing to you in Russian or Hungarian or Rumanian or whatever that outlandish-looking language is.  And yet the fact is that the message is written in plain and simple English; only it is in code, produced by an automatic coder.  Would you like to know how this coder works?

 

 

       First of all print out Circles A and B, cut them out and paste them to a heavy piece of cardboard.  Next cut out the two circles.  Also, with a sharp knife cut out the slots formed by the two 4-sided figures in Circle B.  Now run a pin through the center of Circle B and through the center of Circle A; fasten the pin to some sort of firm material like a drawing board or the side of a wooden box.  Circle B must be on top.

       You will note that when one of the slots in Circle B is so arranged that a letter is in the center of the slot, another letter will be revealed in the opposite slot.  When one slot shows A the other will show N; when one shows B, the other shows O, and so on. 

       Now suppose that you wish to write "Come here now" in code.  Turn the top card till one slot shows C, the first letter of the message.  The other slot will show P.  Set down P on a piece of paper as the first letter of the coded message.  Now turn to letter O; the opposite letter will be B.  Continuing in like fashion, M will give you Z and E will give R.  The first word, therefore, corresponding to "Come" will be "PBZR."  Continuing, "here" will be represented by "URER" and "now" by "ABJ."  Run all three words together; this is done to make the decoding of the message more difficult for those not possessing the code.  You will now have the message "PBZRURERABJ."

       To decode the message, use the same method as before.  That is, turn the top card of the automatic coder so that one of the slots shows P; the other will show C.  Next turn the card so that one of the slots shows B; the other will show O.  Continue with the rest of the message and you will have "COMEHERENOW," which you will recognize readily enough as "Come here now."  Can you decode the message given at the beginning of this article?

       Explain the code to one of your friends and have him make an automatic coder.  You will find it great fun to correspond with your friend by postcard, using this code.  Your family will be consumed with curiosity to know the meaning of these messages.

 

 

 

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