TO KILL A FLY

This was handed out in schools in the 1960's and we got a big kick out of it:

TO KILL A FLY

AIDE rarely uses its few pages for idle humor, but we couldn't resist this opportunity.  What follows are actual quotes from accident reports submitted to various insurance companies by hapless policyholders.

Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.

I thought my window was down, but found it was up when I put my hand through it.

I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

The guy was all over the road; I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.

In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had the accident.

To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.

My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle and vanished.

I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, I found that I had a fractured skull.

I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him.

The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

I was thrown from my car as it left the road.  I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.

The telephone pole was approaching.  I was attempting to swerve out of its way, when it struck my front end.

I was unable to stop in time and my car crashed into the other vehicle. The driver and passengers then left immediately for vacation with injuries.


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To see the complete contents of the Butter Rum Cartoon, click here.